How Much is Your Day Worth?

Okay, okay, so I am in a mood. Deal with it.

Good Days in Indonesia:

• Where only 700 indonesian men say "Hello miss".
• Where nothing really drastically bad or irritating happened.

Bad Days in Indonesia:

• When someone is being a BITCH.
• When I feel lonely because no one emailed me.
• When something really bad or irritating happened.

Good days are basically a normal day where nothing bad happened. A good day can become a bad one very easily. Because all it takes is one really shitty thing to go down and suddenly the world is crap.

So, what was my day today? A Bad Day. Suprise Surpise. Today was such a good day. I bought a new phone. I bought 3 different kinds of mints. My hair didn't look too bad. But now it is a bad day. Fuck that Bitch. Aminah knows who I am talking about even if that person and all of you don't.

So not in a *love* mood today. Try me again tomorrow.

fuck*

Saathiya.

Reintroductions... (It is spelt H-E-A-T-H-E-R!!)

Well, it has been a while since I have written anything here…the last was about that awful(ly funny) date I had before I came over to Indonesia. But now, here I am in Indonesia, and so much is happening all the time that I feel like I am surely changing too… so here is the Saathiya update:

About Me:

Well, I am not so into just talking about me in actual details, so here are some random facts:
Most recently, I have been (lovingly) described by friends (and other random people) as :

Alternative - Apparently listening to music in a language other than English makes me “alternative” – thank you Joon Yip – go back to your surfie friends…no, I take it back, I still love you.

Pintu Lemari – (Cupboard Door) Although, technically, I told my friend Ruby that if she was going to be insulting or teasing me in Indonesia she would have to be more creative than “loser” which is such a 90s word. Household appliances are the insults of the new millennium, and Pintu Lemari was the first one I thought up and we have been using it for a few days now.

Prude – Thank you Vali and Ruby, this one I shall never understand nor be able to explain. Also included in this category is “One of those girls who doesn’t like to be touched” although technically the creepy guy who said this isn’t a friend nor acquaintance and is known for stroking girls’ hair when they are asleep near him… shudder. But he makes a mean non-alcoholic cocktail (for those of us who continue to use the “designated driver” excuse for not drinking).

Not what I am looking for right now – quite cool, I have never “not” been something before. Actually what this more accurately should be is “not Flynn, the girl who I love desperately”. That’ll teach me to go out on a date with a guy who is incredibly boring and who I already know has a gebatan (crush) who isn’t me. Even if I am leaving to go away for 6 months a week from the time he asked me out. No, not true, I would do it all again, pretty much – it is worth it just for the story, the laughter and the hilarity of inviting him to my farewell party the weekend before I left for Indonesia.

I am the kind of girl who goes all out for a costume party if I agree with the theme… I once wore an entire samurai outfit to a party (although I drew the line at wearing the sword), but if I don’t like the theme I won’t even try. I have always wanted to go to an 80’s theme party just because I will never get another excuse to wear leg warmers (and because I love 80s music).

I would wait up all night to watch an Iranian love story on TV. In Indonesia I generally wake up at 5 in the morning but don’t get out of bed until 9 or 9:30 – which gives me way… too much time to think. I like fresh, clean sheets but don’t change mine often enough because I am lazy.

I am completely incapable of a successful relationship so I have sworn off love. Not really, but it fits really well with being in Indonesia because I couldn't think of dating anyone here – no matter how perfect they may seem, I mean I don't understand the culture or Shit, I hardly understand relationships in Australia let alone in Indonesia. Which is annoying because it means my usual “not picky” routine doesn't work here. Not that I am being picky but I don't like the thought that guys here would only ask me out because either the novelty of my freakish white skin or alternatively because they think certain things about western girls that are just completely not true (for instance, loose of morals, slutty and all the rest.) I feel like a brazilian exchange student in a bad American high school movie. So not good. Even the guys who seem really nice may just be assuming things about me which is why they are interested which is so not cool. I guess I just can't date here because I would never know if they liked me or were just hoping I was their idea of a typical western girl. So unfair... there are so many cute boys in Indonesia... he he he.

It is easier to list the countries I wouldn’t travel to than the ones I would, but so far Asia is my favourite place to go (although I have only been to Germany and India outside of Asia so I can’t really comment).

Things I love right now:

My favourite ice cream flavour is “Blood Orange” from Cocolat on Rundle St in Adelaide – it is divine, just thinking about it makes me shiver. It goes well with “Pink Grapefruit”. Oh, I miss that.

Pyjamas. Oh, how I love pyjamas.

Random noises in text messages. ‘Hmmm…”, “argh”, “ahhh”, “humph”.

A rut. I love a good rut. I even love the word ‘rut’. Eating at a usual place, like the same Yum Cha place in the Central Market in Adelaide. Parking my car in the same spot everyday. Vegemite on toast. Unfortunately haven’t really been able to find my rut yet here, as I don’t have a car, nor do I have a regular hangout, or a routine for university yet. Sigh, my life is exciting – how annoying.

All the Indonesian music I can get my hands on: right now I am loving Tahta’s Biarkan Orang Berkata. Wicked song. But also J-Rocks, Club80s and Ungu (naturally).

Slang. Since I have come here I have realised how much slang I use in English! “Wicked” means “great”, “crash” means “to stay”. I must be confusing the shit out of people here!
Air freshening. I am totally against it in Australia but now in Indonesia my bedroom apparently smells like some sickening combination of “jasmine”, “sweet apple”, “electric sunrise” and “classic apple”. Yech.

Writing random stuff about myself.

Receiving txts – makes me feel loved.

Indoglish – is there any greater language?

Things I hate right now:

Nyamuk. Mosquitoes – they drive me crazy.

Having to buy water, well, you know, having to buy it in bottle form. Very exhausting.

UHT milk, whitener, powdered creamer and basically everything else they use here to make drinks appear to have milk.

Sweet bread. IS IT SO HARD TO MAKE A SINGLE FRICKIN’ LOAF WITHOUT ANY SUGAR???

Australians. I know, I know, I am one. But don’t you ever feel a bit ashamed of your own people? Also, every Australian I meet here is deathly boring.

Having to constantly avoid using some synonym for prostitute by accident – they have too many words for that here – such as kupu-kupu malam, PSK, wanita nakal, bunga malam, pelacur, WTS, sundal, cabo, and so on. Furthermore, not only can you not use them in jest, like we might say, “Oh, you’re such a whore”, but it seems like you have to avoid ever being overheard saying the words “or what will people think?” It is very tiring.

Walking home by myself at night. I hate it. They close the gate to my street every night at around 8pm so I always have to walk that far at least. But usually further. I hate walking around Jl. Kaliurang after dark. It is really not... good. Once again... Indonesian men: The Problem With Indonesia (I am thinking of writing a book with such a title but I suspect that would get me in a little bit of trouble, hehehhehe).

Okay, so basically I am the same person I was a month ago when I was in australia except that now I am in Indonesia. Nice to know I haven't changed too much.

Oh... on another topic... guess who is coming to Jakarta!!! Ya! Just booked my ticket (I love that I can fly there for just 20 dollars. How is this possible? Wicked.)

Okay, Love*

Saathiya.

Saathiya’s First First Date Disaster

That’s right, I have now had both an “official” first date and an official first date disaster. It is quite funny actually, I know I shouldn’t laugh, but how can I help it? Okay, so this guy (disaster date #1 from now on referred to as DD) asks me out after over a year of very…brief acquaintance, we go out on one (disastrously awkward) date and I get the following SMSs:

Hey , it was nice talking to you

yesterday, I had a good time. I just feel that

you’re not really what I’m looking for right now,

but I’d really like to be friends if that’s okay by

you. Really sorry, I hope I didn’t get your

hopes up too much! I’ll see you tonight. :-) luv DD

Unfortunately I live out of mobile phone reception and did not get this until very late that night, half an hour before we were supposed to see each other again, and it came accompanied with the following SMS, sent some hours after the first, to back it up:

Are you okay? I don’t want things to be

awkward or anything, particularly at

the party tonight!

So, okay, I know it is very bad of me but what was my first reaction to this? Okay, I kinda, well, burst out in laughter in front of everyone (I was already at the party). I mean, c’mon! It is so funny, I still have to suppress the laughter even as I type it now. My Disaster Date is so… earnest. I can’t help it! I mean ONE date and he’s soo… worried. In his mind he has dashed my hopes against the rocks and broken my little ol’ naïve heart in one fell swoop. I mean, I really loved him, man! I had already planned the wedding. I had picked out shoes and… okay, you knew I couldn’t keep that up for long, but ah, shit, I can’t even quit giggling a little uncontrollably over it now! It is really what I said after the date itself: shit, it was so serious, and you should all know by now that Saathiya does not “do” serious.

Okay, okay, I know, he was trying to be nice, let me down gently and all that (damn it I still can’t stop laughing!), but really, I think I spent the majority of the time really pressing into him that if we never went out again it was nice to get to know each other anyway, right? I mean, I probably overstressed the “let’s be friends” message if anything, I hardly think he could have interpreted it any other way, but perhaps I was wrong. I get that he had to say something, because unfortunately we have friends in common and we were seeing each other the very day after the date so it would have to be resolved without any friction. I get that, I really do. I know that he was smart enough to know he couldn’t really operate on a “I’ll call you” type of thing one might usually resort to in these matters, what I would almost surely pull in any other situation. Unfortunately it wasn’t that easy. All I am saying is – is it so wrong that I laughed so hard over those messages? Is it wrong that I seriously do not have any feeling one way or the other? I am not happy that he wasn’t interested in taking it further, nor am I unhappy, it really means pretty much nothing to me at the moment.

Okay, I’ll admit I am glad that this happened so that he will stop flirting with me like an idiot all the time and also because I have learnt so many valuable lessons from the experience:

• Phone calls are for chumps, these days all the hard work is done through SMS
• If your date does actually have no social skills do not bother taking it upon yourself to continue the conversation for 3 hours, just do it for a half hour and then get the HELL out of there.
• Cider is not as impressive as the TV campaigns make it out to be
• Never ask your disaster date to walk you to your car at the end…awkward! Just deal with the rapists and whatnot when they come.
• Once it becomes clear that this is not going to turn into any sort of relationship that would even be worth breaking off and then possibly re-establishing upon return, just blurt out that you are leaving for(effectively)ever to Indonesia rather than thinking about whether to mention it and creating an awkward moment at the end. It occurs to me now that he may have thought something entirely dissimilar from what I was thinking in that moment because rather than saying… “it’s okay, I realise you are leaving and I also don’t care bothering with anything here”… he …hugged me. I didn’t really see that one coming I must say, but with hindsight I wonder…and just think thank Buddha it was only a hug
• Don’t get dating advice from Sleepless in Seattle. Actually, let me rephrase that one: don’t agree to date anyone who clearly gets their dating advice from Sleepless in Seattle.
• Try to be more sympathetic to the DD’s earnest “let down” SMS rather than sending back an SMS along the lines of:
  
  Surprisingly I’ll b okay, my heart will heal. We’ll
  laugh through the tears… really and the emergency rm
  nurse says my wrists are healing just fine! :-)
  
  Actually, screw that, I stand by that SMS despite the fact that I didn’t think it up nor type it into my phone, I was responsible for pressing the send button however, and I stand by that. C’mon, it was FUNNY.
  
  
• I still say give them a second chance if it was totally horrendous. I said it after and I’ll say it again now (though of course it is no longer true now), it was that awkward and yet had he been still hopelessly interested I wouldn’t have completely written him off, I mean, yeah, it was pretty bad, and true I wish I had left after 30 minutes to an hour rather that overextend it, but I maintain that eventually awkwardness has to become comfort if the people are compatible, and it is quite easy to figure out whether you are compatible if it is still awkward after a few dates. Frankly, had I listened to my instincts in the first place I never would have given him my phone number, but I have a rule and I am determined to stick to it: any reasonable guy who asks me out and seems nice and decent, I will try out at least once – of course that means I will probably have to deal with a lot more awkward dates in my time, but I like that rule, if all I get is a whole trail of first date disasters I will still have met a lot of (hopefully) nice people and have a lot of stories to tell.

Heartbrokenly yours,

Saathi

Contrary to Popular Opinion, 7 Actually is a Completely Different Number From 6...

Okay, yes, it has been a while... uhm... again. sorry. But actually, for once this is not because I was too busy watching the entire first 3 seasons of seinfeld on the couch, or because I was snowed under with an intense self manicure and pedicure schedule. No no. Actually, amazingly, Aminah is not the only one engaging in paid employment. Yes, indeedy, although I did not plan it and tried desperately to swim against the tide, I was sucked into yet another cherry sorting disaster. Actually, apparently, I am the godsend of cherry sorters, I am bigger than Jesus when it comes to sorting. Actually it is harder than your average job, but you do get to learn a variety of very strange skills:

• The ability to know when a cherry is rotten on its underside merely by the way it sits on the belt
• Multitasking: picking out cherries with one hand, rolling them around and searching for more bad ones with the other while sorting the discarded ones into "rubbish", leaves and buckets of othersized cherries (abnormally large or small), all the while watching the new girl and silently hating her and watching while she incompetantly stands at the belt picking out good ones while completely missing all the utterly rotten ones, thereby doubling my workload as I expand my tasks to include retrieving her rubbish from the belt and slipping the good ones she removed back into the good stuff, meanwhile keeping an eye on the table to make sure not too many boxes go on the table, when there are enough, changing position and folding and unfolding boxes, stamping and sticky-taping them and laying them out in patterns on the pallet. And finally, while doing all this, managing to eat my fill everyday of only the best and plumpest cherries on the belt.
• Great peripheral vision: used to at the same time search the belt right in front of me for rotten or wrong sized cherries while watching out the corner of my eye for the coming cherries.
• In-depth knowledge of all the hottest songs (from about 6 years ago)
• Swear words and how to slip them into any polite request or pleasantry : for example, "fucking beautiful day, isn't it"
• Ability to assess weather and how it impacts on the cherries.

Yeah, maybe not the kind of life skills I am hoping to have to use...well... ever again, but still amazing nonetheless. I like being bigger than jesus sometimes.

Love,

Saathi.

The Adult Bookstore and Other Anthropological Theses....

*Okay, so as a general rule I am not much for reviews, unless you can count a series of spiteful criticisms as a "review". But I feel that I must explain the ultimate reason for my rejoining the local (really local for me - not only is this western, but actually a band which hails from little 'ol Adelaide itself) music scene. I have been to see them play live twice (isn't live music just the best?) in Adelaide in the last week (pathetic much??) - in the Rhino Room, and at the Prince Albert on Wright St.

*The thing with "The Adult Bookstore" - my new musical passion - is that it is not something I liked right away. Okay, I have half the new CD - completely incomplete, imperfect and all - and the first time I popped it in the CD player in my car on the way home after getting it, I was a bit like - hmm, it is all a bit obvious, alright? Actually, I found at first the lyrics and vocals a little disappointing, I could hardly understand it and all, I actually really liked the instrumental first track (which actually does have vocals and all but as I already said, the CD I have is not yet complete) much more.

Obviously I had a little culture shock - I have grown used to foreign music of arabic and bollywood styles which are immensely different from most aus music. But after a while I picked up on the fact that the Adult Bookstore isn't just like all other australian music either. It is actually quite unique and cool. I even love the vocals and lyrics these days. I think the voices are quite... dare I say... melifluous? Just good, yeah. There is this part on one song where the guy's voice breaks - at first I laughed, now that is my absolutely favourite part, it actually sounds really cool... great...wicked...roofus (oh, goodness, why oh WHY did I watch Never Been Kissed???). This is the kind of band which makes me want to make up a new word for cool that is more cutting edge, maybe a little familiar, yet strange, deep, unsettling and ultimately catchy.

Sadly, now, in the same way as I learned all the hindi lyrics to bollywood songs and the indonesian lyrics from Ungu's most recent album, I can now basically sing along with most of the AB songs I have on CD, thankfully though another girl who I went with last night knew some of the lyrics too so I didn't feel quite so pathetic and obsessive.

Obviously, the point I am trying to get across is that "The Adult Bookstore" is the rockingest band I have heard in a while, even if ittook me a day or two to realise it. Now, the CD is a mainstay in my CD collection, being carried back and forth between 3 CD players - the one in my bedroom, the one in my lounge room and the one in my car. Right now I am loving the songs (which, thank you James, I have no idea what their real names are and therefore have to make up names based on the lyrics I like): Slug Love, Statue, Hey Hecklers, After the Fact ... okay, so I love them all. Darn.

So there you go, Saathiya says: Love "the Adult Bookstore".

A quick google revealed that you can find their:

• (also amazingly incomplete) website here
• Myspace music site here
• Music at this site on mp3.com.au

Saathiya

Saathiya Does Not Flirt ... Men Flirt With Saathiya.

And generally this consists of her talking at first fairly comfortably then getting a little freaked out and then finally figuring out about 3 hours later (or when told be an observer) that what was going on was definitely 'flirting'. I can recognise flirting a kilometre away if it doesn't involve me, but otherwise I am completely inperceptive, I do generally have to be informed by another impartial observer. A friend (yes, you, Aminah Cantik), said yesterday (or was it this morning aroung 2am?) that she has never seen me flirt and you know, maybe I never have. Not to let anyone who knows me assume I am referring to any particular incident (recent or otherwise): for me flirting is basically getting along verbally with a guy, but all the while assuming there is no way he would ever go for me, wishing at the time he would, and then even later wishing I had of done something.

"I am the impenetrable fortress"

Anywho, I am bored of dissecting my own romantic incompetency, as I am sure everyone is tired of reading about it. It has been pretty well covered, right? Instead I want to figure out how to recognise when someone is flirting with you, here is the pointers I have picked up (yet totally don't really get or understand):

1. Compliments - complimenting the other person seems to be one that is quite important. Whether it is "I really like your shoes" or whatever, this seems to be a good indicator. Although, I would steer clear of the shoe one if you are a guy because in my experience girls receiving such a compliment may tend to think you are uhm... well ... gay.
2. Body language - facing each other, back towards other people, if you are on a couch doing that almost lying down "slumped into the couch" thing so that your head is by their shoulder. These are all things people have used as evidence of flirting.
3. If they ask what you are doing after whatever you are doing at that moment.
4. The old "help me" approach - the old "drive me to my car, so I don't have to walk all alone" trick, or the "can you help me carry [insert relevant heavy object] to my car" approach. Although be aware that this can be subtle as in "oh, no. my car is parked soo...far away, it is so late, if only someone could walk me or drive me to my car. Do you read in the newspaper that some girl was attacked in just this area while walking to her car alone..." and so on.
5. Laughing, smiling, looking at each other.

Umm...are we seeing a pattern? Is it just me or does it seem like flirting is basically what you do with your friends, but then if you do it with a guy you don't know really well suddenly all you will hear is "ooo-hooo, what was all that about, should we leave you alone, we can catch a cab home *nudge, nudge* *wink, wink*".

It is impossible to tell from a list of "if he does this"s and "if she says that"s. Meh. I give up.

Well, while I am here, for all my faithful adelaidian readers: the greatest band ever (okay, ahem, they need some work, but.) is Adult Bookstore. They are playing on Saturday 11th November somewhere in Adelaide. Okay, I don't actually know where or when but you can figure that out for yourself. My favourite is the slug song which I cant yet decide whether to dub "love slug" or "slug love" both are pretty good.

Anywho, gotta run.

Zaathi*

Tari Perut, An Emotional Incompetant and the Political Economy of Famine....

Eeep! I have done it again and not posted for ages. But here I am one day before my major essay is due (100 words in - woo! or not.), one day before I give a speech in indonesian on how to play zills, two days before my International Studies minor is due and three days before my big scary indo test on all the possible prefixes and suffixes in the indonesian language (well, for this year anyway). Not good. So once again, here is the update:

• I am completely screwed as far as uni is concerned
• ....but that doesn't matter as much because.... I AM GOING TO INDONESIA FOR 6 MONTHS next year!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!
• I am completely emotionally retarded. Seriously, I never have any idea how to react in terms of emotion to things. I am seriously sitting there going "hmmm... am I supposed to feel jealous? Should I laugh? Should I be angry?" Anything beyond delirous joy and some other emotions which occasionally appear as supposed to. In the end I am mostly just resoundingly confused by things. This probably makes no sense to anyone else, without the context, but screw it. I am a crazy stoic emotionally incompetant freak. I accept that.
• I literally finish everything in 3 days. I have freakin' 3 months of hols before indonesia. I can not wait to begin planning it all. Planning is almost as good as going.
• I am now a devotee of Cambodian pop music. Sad. Pathetic. Sick. Derranged. These are all words that have been applied to my new obsession.
• Did I mention that I am still single? Why do I feel compelled to broadcast that? Because I am beginning to feel it is taking over and soon I will be incapable of any romantic human interaction of any kind? Maybe. Or not. Or is it? Yes. or....is it? Sorry. Damn the simpsons. I suppose it is the fact that I refuse to let go of my dignity, otherwise who knows where I might be now? In a village in Bali, married to a chef who looks like a short Amir Khan, that's where.
  
• Apparently I am still crazy as a loon.

Well, better get back to it, na? Argh. I so don't want to. But I must. Sigh. (Seriously how much longer can I draw this out?)

Okay, I just have to post this and get back to work.

Zaathiya.