Well, headed to a lawyer tomorrow. No one knows...no one important anyways. I have a custody hearing in a week, and I've decided I'm going for everything. No visitation, child support, the works. My laywer thinks with all the things that Mom has done it should be fairly straight forward. Cross your fingers for me.

Stripper and me aren't getting a long so well...not really fighting, but not really all over each other either...I'll keep you posted on that.

Well, that's all for now. Remember, if you figure out who I am...please keep it quiet.

-Dad

Welp, it's been about two weeks and a lot has changed. I have introduced Stripper to Princess. It's actually gone very well. I was very hesitant at first because the last thing I want is another female leaving Princess's life, but things are going very good between me and Stripper. Also, before you think I'm a complete prick, I told Mom that things aren't going to work out with us. I didn't mention someone else; I'm sure Princess will do that for me. And frankly, it's none of her business. Stripper does Princess right, and that's all that matters.

Sorry for the short update, but I have to call Princess's grandma...that's a whole other set of bullshit...

Wow...sorry for the hiatus. My dad came and visited, and I didn't have the opportunity to post. But, here's what happend.

Princess clung to my dad. From the minute he got here, to the time he left she was attached at the hip. Which was cool. We had a really good visit.

Well, I've also started dating. I'm not going to tell Princess's mom. I am going to court in October for Full Custody, and I don't want her to have any objections, because believe it or not, she does have a say. I couldn't believe that. If I wouldn't have shown up to the court appearance, I would have gone to jail. Mom doesn't show up and they reschedule it. Doesn't make sense to me, but I can't change it.

I'm dating Stripper...yeah, it finally worked out. Don't really want to talk to much about it, but she's cool as hell, and I think when she finally meets Lilly, she'll be good.

Well that's it. Take care. My next update won't be long away.

Well, I'm doing better today. Well, this whole week. Me and Princess have been spending a lot of time together, and that's helping. My car is falling apart and I'm worrying about how I'm going to get that taken care of, but it's going to be alright I guess. Mom is still gone. That's nothing new.

My dad is coming to visit me this weekend. It'll be the first time I've seen him in over a year.

Princess is doing better. For a while I thought she might be getting depressed, and it's tough to watch your beautiful baby slipping away and not knowing what to do. She's been better lately though. I'm doing my best to take care of her, but I'm still struggling.

I'm getting a bonus soon from work. After paying bills, I've decided I'm going to get a tattoo. It'll go down my arm. It has Princess's name in Japanese written in it, so if you can read Japanese, you know her name now...haha. But please don't post it if you recognize it.




Well, that's it for now. Take it easy.
-Dad

I'm glad I exorcised my self-esteem or else I'd be feeling really crappy right now. Good night.

I have decided that self esteem is a character trait that I do not need. I understand that Princess is the most important, and not me, and having self esteem in my life would only impede my ability to raise her. Sure, I feel good about myself, but I have decided to cut out the part of me that is trying to raise myself up and point that at Princess. So far it is working out great.

Princess is having a hard time dealing with her mom being gone this time. She's very clingy, and I'm not used to it. I had the 'traditional' father role before this started. I worked fulltime, gone all day. I was gone before she woke up, but came home in the evening. Maybe spent a few hours of time with her on weeknights, but on weekends that was our time to have fun. Very little discipline was left to me. No emotional suppport was needed from me. Now it is. That's were the killing my self esteem came from. As long as I don't think about myself, I think that Princess will be better to cope. Am I wrong? We'll see...

In my life, things have gotten a little better. I still miss Mom, but it's easier. Sure I want to marry her when she gets out, but that's looking farther and farther away. I have actually met two girls in the last week, and Stripper started showing some more interest again. Tomorrow is the test for her. If she comes and hangs out with us tomorrow night like she promised yesterday, she's my choice. I will probably have her for comfort while Mom is in jail. Then we'll see how far it goes. I'll report in on Sunday.

-Dad

Such is the life
Of a single father
He says daddy explain
If its not too much bother
While its just you and me
Living here in this home
I dont understand it
And neither does he
Why theres just two
When there should be three of us
Sharing this moment
Lord i feel so alone

I heard this for the first time tonight. It's actually a Kid Rock song. Hit me kind of hard, because Princess started asking some tough questions earlier, and I wasn't sure how to handle them.

Will post more tomorrow. Not really in the mood.