FREE ERASMUS E-BOOK!!

FREE ERASMUS E-BOOK!!

Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine is now available as a FREE E-BOOK!! Simply click here to download right now!

That's just the start of the Erasmus news! The second book in the series - Erasmus James, King of Kid's Paradise - is now in good bookstores across Oz !

There are new teachers' resources for both books: also free to download!

And don't forget to check out the new, revamped Barrel Books website - it's full of surprises, jokes, free downloads and looks fantastic!

More Raz news to come!

Read more!

The DC Green School Show: Teacher Reviews

The DC Green School Show: Teacher Reviews

‘DC Green had the children engaged from the beginning of his talk. I really loved how he involved the children throughout his talk - especially during the reading of his book. DC has written novels with topics that really appeal to primary-aged children. He was a fantastic guest speaker. Very entertaining.’
- Miss Isbester, St Matthews Central School, Mudgee.

‘An entertaining and informative talk. The children loved it, and many came up afterwards saying DC Green was great. His notes on writing are terrific.’
- Mary Healy, Teacher Librarian, Auburn North Public School.

‘Staff and kids loved the show. It was an entertaining morning, and a good laugh! (educational too, of course!)’
- Joyanne Tollis, Calwell PS, ACT.

‘The kids I have spoken to enjoyed DC’s talk. They said stuff like "He was funny" and "He can't dance very well, but it was fun." The English head teacher who was there really enjoyed the puns and felt that he had some good stuff to tell them. I’ve had a number of requests for DC’s books - my one copy is in demand!’
- Marion Hing, Warilla High School.

‘A very enthusiastic show. It was great and it struck me that as teachers we need people like DC to come in and jig up the kids cos by late in the term we are all out of zip. My class went back to class and started writing enthusiastically.’
- Tricia Pfeiifer, St Patricks, Mansfield Park, SA.

‘DC Green’s talk was very entertaining and enjoyed by all. The students are bugging the librarian to get his book out on the shelf to borrow so they can read it.’
- Years 3 & 4 and their teachers, Yamba PS.

‘A very successful visit.’
- Leslee Evans, Shoal Bay PS.

‘DC was an enthusiastic and entertaining spruiker for reading. He introduced children to the nuts and bolts of the writing process and authorship in a novel and funny way. Really good value. Year 4 loved him.’
‘Great presentation. What a man! - sense of humour, has guard cats, can cook and wonderful writing ideas. (Can I take him home?)’
‘An entertaining performance to promote books. It's great to support such a talented author.’
- Teacher quotes collected by Linda Leslie, Barrack Heights PS.

‘DC captured the imagination of the kids… A great visit.’
- Margaret Makara, St Brigid’s Catholic School, Evanston, SA.

‘Positive feedback has come from many students and also parents have come in to tell me of the positive impact DC has had on their children.’
- Melanie Conrick, Cardiff South PS.

‘We thoroughly enjoyed DC’s visit to our school and I am very pleased with the children’s responses to hearing an author speak about writing books for young people.’
- Maria Arrow, Assumption School, Bathurst.

‘A fantastically entertaining hour! It was SO appropriate to my class. Year 6 were very inspired and returned to the room to WRITE – very good inspiring stuff. Not once upon a time… We wish DC Green was at our school ALL the time.’
- Lyn Bedwell, Stanwell Park PS.

‘The kids were thoroughly impressed!’
- Di Imison, Telopea Primary School.

‘The children are still talking about DC (all good of course).’
- Maree Kelly. Holy Trinity Primary School, Wagga Wagga.

‘The teachers and children enjoyed DC’s books.’
- Judith Griffiths, King Street PS, Singleton.

‘It was a great visit. The kids & teachers loved DC’s 'show'. Year 6 have chosen Erasmus as their class novel this term.’
- Kathy Dean, St Matthews Central School, Mudgee.

‘The children really enjoyed DC’s performance and wish to recapture that moment through reading his books.’
- Carol Hick, Hayes Park PS.

‘The feedback from our students and staff has been very good!’
- Julie Veel, St Pauls, Albion Park.

‘The year 4/5 students found DC’s show funny, unusual, entertaining.’
- Sandy Skinner, Reynella East Primary School, SA.

‘A great visit.’
- Tracey Hicks, Teacher-Librarian, Eglinton Public School.

‘Everyone enjoyed the visit. The kids are still debating as to whether or not DC told them the truth about his name:-).’
- Nicole O’Farrell, Holy Spirit, Lavington.

‘The kids at Lithgow Public School still talk of DC’s show that we had earlier in the year.’
- Jodie Klein, Lithgow PS.

‘I heard a lovely story from a parent... The night after DC's show her son had a friend stay the night. When she got up in the morning instead of hearing the usual blaring of morning cartoons or rage there was silence. (always a worry!) When she walked into the lounge room her son and friend had a beanbag each and were both ploughing through their own copies of Erasmus in silence. Both boys have been known as 'reluctant readers' in the past. The mum was very impressed!!’
- Ben Stockwin, Principal, Bruny Island District School, AUSTRALIA'S SOUTHERN-MOST SCHOOL.

‘Spellbound, Laughter and continual giggles,
Sat one hundred and sixty children without any wiggles.
DC enthralled us with many a true tale
Of adventure and survival beyond the pale.
Inspiring the author within each one,
The quest for new stories has really begun.
Erasmus is funny and right up our alley,
We all want to win it in the authorship rally.
All of the senior children in our school enjoyed DC Green's visit so much that they are trying to win his book through writing stories for our authorship competition.’
- Rowena Chater, Teacher-Librarian, Macgregor Primary, ACT.

‘A fantastic show. DC Green had the children engaged from the very start. He had their imaginations working overtime coming up with new ideas for stories. The show was very enjoyable and a great way to kick start creative writing in your school.’
- Michelle Devine, Teacher Librarian , St Therese Primary, West Wollongong.

‘What a fabulous time the students had listening to DC Green. He was funny. He used language the children could easily understand and he was able to get the kids thinking about weird and crazy endings to his stories. The best thing, as a teacher, was seeing kids who usually find it difficult coming up with story ideas suddenly thinking of these bizarre and wonderful story lines.’
- Kevin Pocknall, Amaroo School, ACT.

‘Wonderful tips on writing. The students were so energized by DC Green’s performance.’
- Heather Thompson, Gilgandra Primary.

‘A great show. I was impressed by the way DC Green held the children's attention, especially some I know are usually restless. All the children I have spoken to thoroughly enjoyed DC's presentation.’
- Kath Crapp, Bodalla PS.

‘DC's presentation to the Grades 3 & 4 was before lunch. In the afternoon, all the children wanted to do was write stories!’
- Jenny Chandler, Larmenier School, St. Leonards, TAS.

‘Students were enthralled by DC's antics and truly terrific stories. We thank him for bringing to life the art of creative writing and inspiring the young to have a go and let go!’
- Jane McCullock, Culburra PS.

‘The children are enjoying the story being read to them, serial style every afternoon over the school speaker system! I'm the one adjusting reading a very funny story without an audience I can see or hear. Although one day the principal and another executive member did cause a slight hilarious interlude in the reading when they entered the room with a pillow, blanket and a glass of milk to sit and listen!! Hence they are now banned due to the fact I can't read while laughing out loud!!!! The students are also having a great time designing Zapp Machines and working out what on earth DC stands for!!’
- Catherine Bishenden, St Joseph's Primary, Orange.

‘Our kids loved DC Green's visit. He is irreverent and funny and he discusses creative writing and the writing process. We enjoyed it!’
- Rachael Hind, St Bede's P.S., Red Hill, ACT.

‘I thought DC was clever in the way that he wove the craft of story-telling into his oral story-telling. I thought he engaged the children effectively by using the humour of his book and his personal experiences.’ - Mrs H., Lindsay Park Primary School.

‘The children really enjoyed DC Green's talk. I have photocopied DC's ‘Writing Tips and Ideas’ for the teachers. They have certainly given the children some great ideas and story starters.’
- Sue Dmetreson, Librarian, Gerringong Primary School.

‘An eclectic enigma. Billy Connolly meets Kelly Slater in a literary mismatch in the classroom. Bizarre, egotistical, enthralling, funny and not to be missed (unless you are on RFF like me).’
- Marcus Arnold, Dapto Public School.

‘The 3/4/5/6 students loved DC's performance. His jokes were so funny, some of the students had trouble sitting up. Another was crying with laughter. The students loved his vivid imagination, singing and rap. I am currently reading Erasmus James to the 5/6 class.’
Katrina McArthur, Jervis Bay School.

‘DC Green's show was enjoyable and entertaining. I set the children a writing task straight after as they were so motivated.’
- Vicky Aisbett, Assistant Principal, Berkeley Public School.

‘Thanks again for your visit. The kids really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next book to be published.’
- Angela Fitzpatrick, Parkes East Primary School.

‘It was a pleasure to have DC Green visit. I see children in the playground absorbed in reading his book.’
- Petra Pollum, Unanderra Primary School.

‘We were very impressed with DC's show. The students enjoyed his antics as well as his writing tips. An entertaining visit.’
- Kate Bohlscheid, Teacher/Librarian, Queanbeyan High School.

‘I thoroughly enjoyed being part of DC's performance. Hopefully the Academy Award is in the mail!!! Including teachers and students in performances will always enhance motivation and ensure their time is memorable. DC's writing tips and ideas support what teachers are doing in the classroom and allow children to unlock the key elements in writing narrative.’
- Smithton Primary School, Tasmania.

‘The children really enjoyed DC Green's style and his zany manner. He inspired the children with different ways to express themselves in their writing and encouraged the children to read. The children really enjoyed this experience.’
- Mater Dei Catholic Primary School newsletter.

‘One of our dreamy 5th graders reflected on DC's presentation with the words, ‘Really Mrs Knowles, he was just born to entertain don't you think?’
- Karyn Knowles, Teacher Librarian, North Nowra Public School.

‘Stage 2 and 3 students were invited to attend DC Green's presentation, which was greatly enjoyed by all. The students were very interested in how DC became a writer and the process of publishing. Books were available for students to purchase after the session and a class set was purchased for Stage 3 Literacy.’
- Marg Pike, Teacher Librarian, Vincentia Primary School.

‘The children at our school thoroughly enjoyed the zany, pacy presentation by DC Green. He combined an entertaining mixture of story telling with hints for aspiring writers as well as an opportunity for the children to be involved in his show.’
- Margaret Calvert, Minnamurra Primary School.

‘Thank you DC... for your enthusiasm, humour and knowledge. I will definitely recommend you to other schools! (You can quote me on that if you want to!)’
- Judithe Hall, Resource Centre Manager, Holy Spirit College (Bellambi).

‘Wow!! Energetic, spontaneous interaction with students. Powerful writing tips.’
- Danielle Griffiths, Gilgandra Primary.

‘DC Green recently performed before an audience of 80 adults and children at Ulladulla Library. This event was a great success and as he read excerpts from his book he acted, danced, answered questions and actively involved the audience who really enjoyed his informative and funny show. It's well worth asking DC Green to ‘perform’.’
- Rosemary Burke, ex-teacher, Acting Manager, Ulladulla Library.

‘I read a chapter or so each day to my class. They really enjoyed it, especially the jokes and the naughty bits!’
- Bob Swoope, teacher, Milton Public School.

‘The children enjoyed DC Green's humour and are eager to continue reading his book.’
- Meg Boxsell, Berkeley Public School.


And all these, from the same school...

‘Excellent. Students were interested in all aspects of the talk.’
- Mr Mungovern, Dapto Public School.

‘Entertaining, engrossing, educational. We look forward eagerly to DC's next visit.’
- Mr Quinn, Dapto Public School.

‘DC Green captivated the children with his entertaining and inspiring presentation, which even included raps.’
- J. Damir, Dapto Public School.

‘Very witty and entertaining. Thoroughly enjoyed by students and teachers.’
- D. Cecchels, Dapto Public School.

‘The children were totally engrossed by his humorous, entertaining personality.’
- Cathy Jones, Dapto Public School.

‘A very funny man. Thoroughly enjoyed his performance!’
- Jenny Doblander, Dapto Public School.

‘Entertaining, educational and motivating.’
- David Dark, Dapto Public School.


And this, from the festival front:

‘DC Green was a guest speaker/author at our 2005 Canberra Readers and Writers Festival in October 2005. DC was well prepared for his session and spoke thoughtfully and intelligently on the speaker's panel. He gave an entertaining reading and presentation of his children's book and was able to adapt the pitch of the presentation to suit the audience which ended up being much older than anticipated. I am pleased to recommend him for speaking events or school presentations.’
- Christine Aldred, Youth Projects Officer, ACT Writers Centre.

‘Dear DC, the staff and management commitee of the NSW Writers' Centre send you our warmest thanks for your participation in the Writing for Children and Young Adults Festival on 22 July 2006. The day was a great success and was very much enjoyed by all who attended. Throughout the day there was a wonderful sense of cameraderie and visitors came away from the festival inspired by all our panellists' ideas and experience. Once again, many thanks from me, our staff and committee.’
- Irina Dunn, President, NSW Writers' Centre.


And some more teacher quotes:

‘DC Green was inspirational, even to children that normally struggle to listen for long. Children were laughing and completely engrossed during his talk. Excellent advice was given about writing and how to get those elusive ideas. Thoroughly worthwhile!’
- Vicki Reay, Teacher Librarian, Shoalhaven Heads Public School.

‘Exciting, informative, age appropriate. One of the best shows I've seen in a long time.’
- Mrs Greenhalgh, Gilgandra Primary School.

‘To stretch your students' minds and encourage them to read, you could not go past fantastic children's author DC Green. One hundred enthralled students now believe the first letters of DC's book, 'Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine', stand for Energetic, Jumping, Amusing, Great and Zany!’
- Mark Tweed, Year Six teacher, St Michaels Primary, Nowra.

‘Three months after DC Green charmed the children at Lake Munmorah they are still requesting THAT book by the ‘funny man’. It has not been back on the shelf since he left, a sure fire indication of how much they love it!!’
- Chris Knight, teacher librarian, Lake Munmorah Public School.

‘The children thoroughly enjoyed DC's vitality, stories and enthusiasm.’
- Pip Harris, teacher librarian, Mater Dei Catholic Primary School, Wagga Wagga.

‘The library copy of DC's book is circulating very well. As soon as it goes back on the shelf, it has been re-borrowed soon after. This means that his promotional visits are having an impact.’
- Margaret Cooper, Shellharbour Primary School.

‘Our students really enjoyed DC's visit and were very positive in their responses. They particularly enjoyed the wacky sections of the show. Being country students they have very few opportunities to have interaction with a REAL live author. The post visit discussions were very positive.’
- Sandra Campbell, St Patrick's Catholic Primary School, Griffith.

‘Thank you for participating in this year's 'International Writer's Celebration'. Your contribution has been very significant and without it the event would not have been such a success. We hope that you will participate next year.’
- Shannon Spiers and Jessie Ebsworth, Student Coordinators, Queanbeyan High School.

‘The feedback from the children, in all grades, was very positive. They all seemed to enjoy themselves a great deal. The teachers commented that most of the children were chattering quite excitedly about DC's presentation when they were back in class. I look forward to seeing DC's future writings in my library.’
- Warren Rich, Lindsay Park Public School.

‘The children were all spellbound by the antics of DC Green. When I discussed his visit with the class after the show, the students were able to recall the important features of writing a good story, and all were eager to have a go themselves!’
- Kate, Orana Heights Primary School.

‘The children loved DC Green's antics!’
- Robyn Dunlop, Librarian, Lakes Entrance Primary School, VIC.

Read more!

The DC Green School Show: 2008 & 2009 Dates

The DC Green School Show: 2008 & 2009 Dates

Phew! In the last two years, I’ve performed over 300 school shows in four states and one territory! Elsewhere on this site are a bunch of glowing reviews I've received from teachers and students. Love that word of mouth!!

Here are the areas I'll be touring schools in the next two years...


THE DC SHOW SCHEDULE 2008

Term 2
* Central West, NSW. Week 4 (May 19-23).
* Sydney, South Coast, NSW. Week 5
(Education Week. May 26-30).
* New England, Tamworth, NSW. Week 6 (June 2-6).
* Perth, Southwest WA. Week 8 (June 16-20).
* Gold Coast, NSW Northern Rivers (June 23-27).

Term 3
* Canberra, Week 4 (Aug. 11-15).
* Sydney, NSW. Week 5 (Book Week. Aug. 18-22).
* Illawarra, South Coast, NSW. Week 6 (Aug. 25-29).
* Central Coast, NSW. Week 7 (Sept. 1-5).


THE DC SHOW SCHEDULE 2009

Term 2
* Canberra and the Riverina, NSW. Week 2 (May 5-9).
* Sydney, South Coast, NSW. Week 4. Sydney Writers’ Festival Week (May 19-23).
* Central Coast, Newcastle, NSW. Week 5 (May 26-30).
* Adelaide, SA. Week 6 (June 1-5).
* New Zealand, North Island. Week 8 (June 15-19).
* New England & Mid North Coast, NSW. Week 10 (June 29 - July 3).

Term 3
* Melbourne & North East Vic (Hume). Week 2 (July 20-24).
* Perth and south, WA. Week 3 (Aug. 10-14).
* Sydney, South Coast, NSW. Week 5. Book Week (Aug. 24-28).
* Ipswich, Gold Coast. Week 8. Ipswich Festival of Children’s Literature. (Aug. 31 - Sept. 4).

Term 4
* Darwin and the Top End, NT. Week 2 (Oct. 12-16).


DOUBLE PHEW!

If you're a student who would like me to visit your school, and deliver laughs by the bucket, badger your teacher, librarian, principal or mayor!

If you're a teacher who would like me to visit, please see the Teachers' Page at Barrel Books or e-mail sue.barrelbooks@gmail.com

Read more!

STINKY SQUAD! And... THREE LITTLE SURFER PIGS!!

STINKY SQUAD! And... THREE LITTLE SURFER PIGS!!

TWO NEW DC GREEN BOOKS - OUT NOW!!

Click 'Read More' to check out the covers and latest reviews!

Book One!

STINKY SQUAD is about a country called Oztrailer where everyone turns into brain-eating zombies. The nation's only hope is a bunch of loser teens with gross super-powers... Stinky Squad!

Stinky Squad is gross, funny, scary and ultra-fast paced: perfect for readers with strong stomachs aged between 10 and 110.

‘Fantastic… a very exiting read for kids and a very, very funny book.’ – HG Nelson.

‘Stinky Squad is the best Australian children’s book. Ever.’
– Stab magazine.

‘One hell of a ride... A fart-fest with a surprisingly warm heart. Stench is an INSPIRED character.’
- Sally Odgers, children’s author.

‘Never have bodily fluids been described with such gusto. Harry Potter meets Shaun of the Dead.’
- Waves magazine.

'Stinky Squad will have people involuntarily twitching and retching, clenching buttock muscles and wincing. Brilliant!'
- Jensen Ruehle, Bookmark Australia.

‘DC Green has keyed into what children love to read. This is a best seller... truly truly truly truly great!’
- Carol Roach, Storytime Tapestry.

‘DC Green will be the Hans Christian Anderson of a whole new generation.’
- Jodi Flessberg Lily, Creative Writers Network moderator.

‘This is the novel equivalent of a manga comic, a classic super hero tale on a global scale – albeit with a freaky twist. It’s fast and furious and VERY funny.’
- Sandy Fussell, children’s author.

‘My son swallowed Stinky Squad down, belched and asked for more! He could be heard chuckling and occasionally laughing which is no small feat as he has his teeth fitted with the most excruciating braces. The only time he has not moaned at me about the "pain" has been when he was reading DC’s book or sipping one of my special protein shakes. He didn't put it down once until it was all gone and I don't mean the shakes. ‘
- Maria Stepek Doherty, Storytime Tapestry Senior Writer.

‘A slimy, festering send-up of the modern world. Great fun, and perfect for kids.’
- Tracks magazine.

Check out the official Stinky blog for the latest updates at: http://dcgreen.wordpress.com/



Book Two!

THREE LITTLE SURFER PIGS.

I performed an early version of this story at many of the 100+ schools I visited in 2006. The reaction to the three naughty pigs was so fantastic, it was obvious they were destined to score their own book.

And now they have: a brilliant picture book chocked with laughs, surfing action, surprises and amazing artwork by the mega-talented Simon McLean.

Three Little Surfer Pigs is the perfect book for all the family, covering ages 4 to 154, and above average pets.

10 % OF ALL SALES GO TO CANTEEN - the Australian organisation supporting young people living with cancer!

‘A hilarious retelling of the classic fairytale.’
- AEU News.

‘Evilly entertaining.... The rhyme is great fun!’
– Sally Odgers, Jack Russell, Dog Detective.

‘A funny and enjoyable read.’
- Kid Zone.

‘I loved the hidden jokes and all the surfy lingo!’
- Jackie Hosking, PIO reviewer.

‘Funny, full of surf action, and with a great female surfing character, this is the sort of book I would have loved to have read when I was a grommet!’
- Pam Burridge, Australia’s first women’s world surfing champion.


Both books are published by my fantastic new publisher, Barrel Books:
http://www.barrelbooks.com/

Barrel Books Shop:
http://barrelbooks.com/catalog/

Read more!

Teacher notes & children's activities

Teacher notes & children's activities

Three Little Surfer Pigs: Teacher Resources
Dozens of Multiple Intelligences & Bloom’s Taxonomy activities prepared by experienced teachers.

Stinky Squad: Student Activities
Over 30 stimulating and fun children's activities and exercises by teacher/writer Matt Porter.

Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine
Brand new activities to make students brains grow bigger while bringing a smile to their faces!

Erasmus James, King of Kid's Paradise
More fantastic student exercises from Matt Porter.

Read more!

The DC Green School Show: Student Reviews

The DC Green School Show: Student Reviews

‘DC Green is my favourite author now, on the same level as JK Rowling. His books are funny and interesting. I didn't think about writing before, but I will now.’
- Mitchell, Year 5, Orana Heights Primary.

‘I thought that Mr. Green's talk was inspiring. I found his tips helpful and encouraging. I also am now very interested in reading his books, especially "Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine".’
- Sasha, Year 8, Canberra Girls Grammar.

‘Hi DC, I just want to say how I love your books and maybe you could pass as your number one fan. So far I’m up to chapter 12 in Erasmus James and the galactic Zapp machine. It’s soooo adventurous and exciting.
Thanks DC Green AKA Funny Guy.’
- Will #1, Year 6, St Raphael’s, Cowra.

‘After DC Green introduced himself, nearly everyone was laughing. He told us some stories about himself and how he had gotten the ideas for his books. It was good that he gave us some tips to be a successful writer.’
- Angela, Challa Gardens PS, SA.

‘On Thursday 5th of October children's author DC Green came to our school. He read some of his book called Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine. Everyone enjoyed the show. He shared his rap and songs with us. DC Green gave us some tips on how to write a good story. He kept us laughing the whole way through his show. The audience made a story with him. It was called Emily the Duck.’
- Show review by Nathan, Joshua, Bradley, Brodie & Kade.
H-2, Claremont PS, TAS.

‘DC Green's author visit was fantastic because he told amusing jokes, stories and poems to the Yr 3-6 classes. Don't worry if you missed out on a book, you may borrow a copy from the Library soon!!!!!’
- Children's review in the Vincentia Public School News.

‘I learned a lot about writing from this experience. It was great to talk with a real author and get pointers to improve our writing.’ - Lauren, Year Eight, Holy Spirit College, Bellambi.

‘Andy Griffiths was my favourite writer. But after seeing DC Green's show, Andy's gone back to number two.’
- Year Five student, Sussex Inlet Public School.


Reviews from St Matthews Central School, Mudgee:

Thanks for coming to St Matthews. I know that I had fun and I think that everyone's heads exploded from laughing so much. I've got a friend who said “I think this book is kool." I have just started to read it and it is great for me because it is so funny .
- Peter Y7

Dear DC,
We'd like to thank you for coming to our school. We enjoyed listening to your advice about writing and your great sense of humour. The books you wrote sound very interesting and we will use all of your techniques and will never liquid paper our computer screens.
We'd also like to thank you for the small group work we had. I personally thought it was great. You gave me ideas and advice about how to come up with funny stories.
I can tell you now, I did. We hope you write more funny and fantastic stories so we can further explore the humorous worlds of your characters. Thanks again for everything, the advice, the tips & the jokes.
- Monique Y7

Dear DC,
Thank you so much for visiting St Matthews Central School in Mudgee. Many children were mind-boggled by your creative children's novels, ‘Erasmus...' and ' your new one 'Stinky Squad'. My brother Sam and I have ordered 1 of each so I hope to read them soon for my MS Read-a-thon. I'd also like to thank you for listening to my story as I was one of the selected few who stayed behind. I really enjoyed learning about you and I will make sure I use some of your techniques you taught me when next I pick up a pen. I hope to read some of your books in the future. Anyway, I had better go and tune into my English class.
- Skye Y7.

Hi DC!
I’m the girl in the second row asking all the questions and my name is Jess. I’d first of all like to say I really liked you coming to our school.
I must admit that when Mrs Dean said that an author was coming to our school I was a little disinterested. Mostly because lots of authors are sooooo boring! I really only like authors that don't go on forever about things like Roald Dahl and Morris Gleitzman ( My Favourites, ) but when I first saw you I knew you weren't going to be boring.
Anyway, enough about me, lets get on about your talk.
Your talk was really interesting! I’m not planning to be a full time author but I’m thinking about writing a book or two so it was really helpful. The only thing is you'd need to make some adjustments to your song and then you might be able to try out for Idol again without Marsha hitting you over the head with a broom!
One thing I really want to commend you on is your question and answer sections. The good thing about them was you answered questions truthfully and ‘sensibly’.
I just have one more thing to say. Good luck in writing more books!!!
P.S. I will definitely be entering that competition on your web site.


Canberra Girls Grammar School Year 7 Comments

- I found the talk very interesting and I got some useful writing tips that could help me write a story. DC also left time for questions, so we could ask about him, and where he gets inspiration. Overall, it was great!
Elena

- I thought it was really funny and entertaining. I thought the writing tips were really good and I think they might help me. I think DC really connected to us as kids and I look forward to reading his books.
Sarah

- I think that the talk thing that we did with that author was really good, because it got me going and writing my own little book. I think that his books are the type my brother and his friends would read, and then I would read them
Jessica

- I thought that he was a HEAP of fun. And I do find those writing tips useful.
Tanya

- An excellent session! DC Green is a very entertaining author. My friends and I learned something new today; we are hoping to see more authors in future like him.
Claudia

- I found DC Green really funny, and yes he did give some great writing tips.
Sarah

- It was good especially for those of us that like writing.
Madeleine

- I found the writing tips very useful… I really enjoyed it.
Gemma

- I thought that DC Green was absolutely funny!!!
Kim


Reviews from Stanwell Park Public School:

‘Hi DC, it's good that you have the same humour as me. You rule!’ - Liam.

‘That was like totally awesome man. From that inspiration I wrote a five page story.’ - Angus.

‘Hi DC, you have inspired me a lot and now I think I write much more cooler stories. Surf on.’ - Bensan.

‘The book is just the best. After the first words I got so involved, I just had to stop what I was doing!! YOU RULE!!’ - Katherina.

‘You are the world's best rapper DC and your books rule. You have inspired our whole school, especially year six. I hope to get your book. Keep on surfing DC.’ - Baden.

‘Hi DC Green. You're really funny.’ - Courtenay.

‘You are super COOL.’ - Harry.

‘Dear Dc Green, thank you for coming to our school. We all enjoyed it. - Selina.

‘Hi DC. Thanks for coming. It was great.’ - Hannah.

‘Dear DC Green, thank you for coming to our school because you have given us lots of inspiration.’ - Emily.

‘Hi DC Green, nice haircut!’

‘DC, you are so funny! I love your books and your funniness. You're awesome.’ - Hamish.

‘DC Green, you were very entertaining, you inspired us all to make our own books. Thank you we all enjoyed having you!!’ - Cordy.

‘Hey Dc dude, your show was great keep writing and be cool!’ - Thilo.

‘Dear DC, I love your book, it's funny and exiting. When you came you cracked everyone up. You have a good rap.’ - Ryan.

‘Hey DC, love your book and your jokes. Love to see you soon.’ - Joe.

‘DC. I love your book and when you came we all cracked up. I hope your next book is just as good as this one. Come back soon.’ - Sophie.

‘Hey DC, I really like your jokes. You are also really funny. I like how you wrote your book, it's really funny. I think it's the best book ever.’ - Kalani.

‘Hey DC Green I love your book.’ - Olivia.

‘Hi DC Green, I loved it when you came to our school. I love to read now. I hope you come to our school soon with you next book.’ - Melanie.


Canberra Girls Grammar School Year 8 Comments

- He was very entertaining. The writing tips are really good!
Ashley

- Talk was excellent today! Very entertaining... he did a great job! Very helpful tips!
Helena

- I really enjoyed the talk we had from DC Green as he gave lots of helpful writing tips we can use. It was also good as he has had experience of being a writer and could tell us what it is like to be an author and what it takes to become one. He was also funny and by creating the story with our year group, it showed us how little ideas however strange or abnormal they are can turn into the basis of a story. I thoroughly enjoyed his talk and was wondering how much one of DC Green's signed books would cost.
Melissa

- I found the speaker's speech quite fascinating and I learnt something from it. I liked it.
Joyce

- I thought that the author speech today was quite beneficial. I thought his manner was good and he brought forward quite a few decent points and helpful writing tips.
Catriona

- I found the guest speaker very funny and also inspirational as I would like to write a book some time and his tips on never giving up and writing a bit each day were helpful. It's always fun to listen to authors talk about their experiences so if anybody else offers, please say yes!
Tara


Posted to this site:

‘DC Green, you came to my school (Berkeley). Your performance was so funny, I had to borrow your book. I read the whole story over two school nights, for me that's like a world record! 240 pages! Mum almost dropped dead with shock. Then she read your book and laughed more than me!’
- Con.

‘Hi DC green. You went to the school called St. Thomas the Apostle on the 4th of July 2006. Your show was so fuunnnyy. The best part about it was your story. I would like to be a famous writer when I grow up... Andy Griffiths was my favourite writer before I saw you.’
- Nicho.

‘You came to my school and were the funniest ever. I bought your book and loved it. We are still doing your crazy dance. Hurry up and write the next book.’
- Adam.

‘I bought this book for my son's friend's birthday. He said it was the funniest book he had ever read and now my book-hating son is reading and laughing it also. A miracle!’
- John Giles, Newcastle.

‘My name is Danial you went to my school today called St Thomas the Apostle and year 3 and 4 went with you first then year 5 and 6. I really want one of your books. I have made a book on the computer.’

‘When does the next book in the Erasmus series come out? I can't wait! Your stories are very addictive!’
- John.

‘Hi DC, my name is Isabel. I go to St. Thomas the Apostle. You are really funny and I enjoyed your book. Where would you find that book! My favourite writer was Andy Griffiths until I met you. I hope you keep writing. ttfn.’
- Isabel.

‘Hi DC green :) u came to my school, St Therese west Wollongong. I really liked your song that u sang to us. You encouraged me to start writing stories. Thank you!’
- Annabell.

‘Hi dc thanks for coming to Latrobe high u were very funny and I think I might get your book!’

‘Hi DC, You came to our school on the 5th of September. You were great!’
- Sonia

‘Hey DC you came to my school today and I really enjoyed and thought you were great. I hope you come again DC. Good on your next book! BYE AND WISHING YOU THE BEST LUCK.’
- Kurt

‘Hey DC
Just two weeks ago you visited Orana Heights the second time.
When you came the first time I bought Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine, well I've finished reading that now and have started reading Stinky Squad which I bought the second time you came to our school and I think Stinky Squad is the most disgusting, vile, foul and funniest book that I've ever read.
If you come back to Orana Heights next year I won't be able to buy your book because I'll be in high school which is very disappointing.
Yours sincerely.’
- Nathaniel

‘Hey DC, Remember last time that you went to dubbo west public school? I was there. You made me laugh.’

‘Helloooo DC GRREEEN,
I thought that you were really cool and funny.
PS: I hope you become famous.’
- anonymous

‘When DC went to SJP (St Johns Primary) I absolutely loved him. He was so funny. A big thank you to our librarian and of course DC for coming.’
- Sam.

’HI, DC I LOVED YOUR SHOW AT HELENSBURGH PUBLIC SCHOOL.IT WAS AWESOME. I AM GOING TO ASK SANTA FOR ERASMUS JAMES AND THE GALATIC ZAPP MACHINE.’
- LACHLAN (STUDENT OF HELENSBURGH PUBLIC)

‘Hi DC. Thanks for coming to my school (Figtree Heights Public School). Good luck with writing your new book Stinky Squad. Thanks Ty. P.S. I’m the kid who liked talking toilets.’

‘Raz is so funny!
I love the roccors, the krazy king, the bloodhorses and everything!!
***** (That means five stars)’
- Raz Fan Number 1, Adelaide.

‘Hey I thought that you are really funny and that your book is really good.
Anyways... you inspired me to do something I have been thinking about doing, but never actually bothered to do... writing my own book. I called it "Mystic Chance"... it wont ever be on book shelves, but it will always be on my computer... and I will always remember that I wrote it.’

‘Hi Dc Green My name is Tara I love your books all of them I wonder how u do it can u come over I want your autograph.’
- Tara

‘Dear DC Green,
You came to my school and you made the whole school laugh sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many times. I am reading Erasmus James and it ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for coming to my school.’
- Daniel (Your No. 1 Fan!!!!)

‘Your book is so funny. I love reading Erasmus James and the Galactic zapp Machine. I hope you can come back to Shellharbour public school again I have now got 2 copies of your books that you have signed. They’re great!!!!!!’
- Matt.

‘Hi DC Green you came to our school yesterday, Canberra Girls Grammar school. I am looking forward to reading your books I love writing stories too (fiction).’
- Reeva.


Year 3 comments about DC Green’s visit to St Patrick’s school (Port Kembla) on Thursday 24 August, 2006:

* I think you did very well. I remember when you did that really cool dance. My favourite thing was that knee thing. A really good idea for your next book be a penguarna which is a cross between a penguin and an iguana. They all have a spud gun. Their enemy is a bush snail. From Mitchell.

* I think you have a good sense of humour and you are funny. I like how you can transform boring stories into amusing things. Kids love that. I like how you let us make up the ending. Your cats have good names. You can rap and dance good. You have made the halfway mark for JK Rowling. If you go on Australian Idol take a broom for a weapon for when Kyle stirs you up. Keep up the good work (written around a drawing of a hand with a thumb up). From Byron.

* DC green came to our school. The 1st thing he was he danced and sang for us. He danced funny. He told us about the first book he wrote. He did silly things and said silly things. He told us a story about the toaster. He said a funny poem. At the end he danced and sang. It was so funny. By Melanie.

* I thought DC Green was funny and he is a great dancer and rapper. He has good words to explain things. He’s the man for the right job. I liked the story when he told us about how he made a sandwich. By Daniel.

* I thought that DC Green had lots of hair. I know how DC got his beanie his cat spat furballs at DC Green's head and when he took the beanie off this is what he said ‘Ow a beanie.’ By Jackson.

* He sang a song that was so funny. He has a lot of cats at his house he told stories to us he has to written one but he is working on a different book he likes to embrace himself to other people. I think he did a very good job. By Kodi.

* DC Green came to our school and he started with a dance. It was very funny. He told some stories and it was what he said about the putting the toast in the toaster that I liked the best. By Monique.

* Today DC Green came to my school. First he did a dance and singing. Then he did a boring story and then an exciting story about the three little pigs. Then he did a rap and told us about how he nearly drowned in the water. Then he gave autographs, I like D.C Green. By Andrew.

* On Thursday the 24th DC Green came to our school. He is so funny. First he did a dance. He was funny I laughed my head off. Then he talked about three surfing pigs I liked it so much. You are the best. From Andrea.

* He was so funny I liked his rap and his story. He made me laugh the whole time His actions were very good. He was a very good singer. He should go to Australian Idol.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Hair
Hair who?
Get a hair cut. From Kari.

* He was funny and he did a rap. He did it well, he was good and I liked his stories. He did a boring story. I liked him cooking a book. From Brandon.

* I thought DC Green was funny and the first thing that he done was a song and he danced with the song too. At the end he did a rap. By Natasha.

* I thought DC Green’s stories were funny and gross. The words explain things that he writes. First he did a silly song and dance last he did a rap dance. By Zoey.


Year 4 comments about DC Green’s visit to St Patrick’s School (Port Kembla) on Thursday 24 August:

* I liked your presentation. It was so funny and it was brilliant and sooo good. From Orlando.

* You are very humorous and you are very good at rap. You are also very good at singing. Thank you for dancing, you were great at it. From Ellen.

* Thank you for coming to our school. I liked your dancing and your jokes. When I get a chance I will buy your book. Thank you for making my day fantastic and fun. From Courtney.

* Last week I really liked how you did your rap and how you expressed what you needed to say and you weren’t shy at all. You were sooooooo funny, it really made me cry. By the way you are soo lucky to have written that book because it sounds EXCELLENT! Thanks so much for coming to our school. From Drew.

* I loved when you sang and rapped. I couldn’t stop laughing. I laughed my head off. Thanks for coming to our school. From Milka.

* To DC Green. That rap was crap but you were really funny. From Keiran (he asked if it was OK to write that. I said yes as he never really cares about anything associated with school. He was genuinely interested this time. Kathy Hall, teacher).

* Hey! DC, I loved your visit. My cheeks hurt because I laughed so much. I haven’t started reading The Galactic Zapp Machine, but I’m really excited. I hope you are able to read my book! By Tristan (Tristan is in Y4 and is reading ‘Tomorrow when the War Began’ and wants to finish it before starting your book.).

* Hey DC Green you are really cool and I like your rap and you tell very good stories and your book is very mad. From James.

* I loved your rap and dancing. You’re so funny. How do you come up with so many funny things to say? I can’t believe you weren’t embarrassed to sing and dance in front of all the school. You’re a brave man. The story about Shannon Knoll was so funny. I’ve started reading your book. By Lisa.

* When DC Green came to our school I was having fun and enjoying myself. You are my favourite person who came to our school. You are a very funny writer. From Lindsay.


Year 5 comments, St Patrick’s School, Port Kembla:

* Hi we really liked your singing, dancing rap.

* Try Australian Idol even if Marcia chases you don’t worry about her.

* Think of more jokes next time you come.

* We’re still reading your book but we think it’s mad.

* Go to Shannaye’s and Melanie’s hip hop because you need the training.

* Your website was really cool and was heaps funny. I loved the cats.

* We really liked your writing tips.

* We really liked your visit and come back soon.

- Love from your 4 favourite fans Shayz, Nick, Alex and Mel.


Reviews from Lindsay Park Primary School:

‘I've already read your book. I had a lot of laughs and I nearly got a paper cut from turning the pages, also I nearly burst a lung from laughing. I think you were extremely funny and entertaining.’ - Hau.

‘Hey DC Green, you made us all crack up. You were great. Come back soon.’ - Kayla.

‘I thought your appearance was good and funny. Especially the pictures you drew on the whiteboard.’ - Mitchell.

‘ Hey, DC you were really funny, especially your songs and jokes. Please write more books. There were no bad points about you. You were great! Keep it up!’ - Felicina.

‘Your books sounded really cool. You had cool stories to tell.’

‘Dear DC, I reckon you were awesome and really funny, especially the spuds thing. Also, there was the toast thing. That was funny too. Everything you said about story writing helped me begin writing weird and wacky short stories and hopefully I will start a novel soon. Thanks for coming DC and keep up the good work.’

‘Hey DC, I think it was a very well planed and amusing performance. I especially liked the jokes. I think it was a great way to spend your time and continue doing it. PS cool beanie’

‘DC Green, it was really really really really x 1,000,000,000 funny.’

‘Very funny. The toaster joke was very funny.’

‘I enjoyed the visit because your stories and style of writing was interesting.’

‘I used to think authors were boring. You proved me wrong. Your jokes were great/awesome.’

‘To DC, I reckon that you visit was the best ever as it wasn't boring and serious. I especially liked your story about drowning and your hand actions. You even laughed at that experience, which not many people could do.’ - Adriana.

‘Hey DC Green, your so funny. You made us all laugh with your rap. Please do come back.’ - Bria.


Student reviews from St Joseph's Catholic Primary School, Wagga Wagga:

‘Dear DC, I think that your visit was great, but you may need some singing lessons!!! I loved your jokes about all that funny and crazy stuff. Thanks for being GREAT!!!!!’ - Rebekah.

‘I think DC is a great kid’s author. He is very funny and tells great stories. I loved the ones about his cats.’ - Sam.

‘My favourite part about DC's visit was how we made up a story about a duck who flew to Antarctica and got lost.’ - Hayden.

‘I really liked the visit from DC Green. He was really funny and had some great jokes. His life before he was a children's author was also interesting. I really liked the story we made up about the duck.’ - Matthew.


Student response from Smithton Primary School, Tasmania:

‘He's really funny.’

‘He is a funny man.’

‘Everyone said he was funny but I thought he was funny too and I think his book would be good!!’

‘He made some good stories.’

‘He was great, funny, exciting and cool.’

‘He's totally groovy and funny!!!!’


Show reviews by students at Orana Heights Primary:

‘I think he was really funny, and I want to read more and more of his books now.’
- Hannah, Year 5.

‘I think DC Green is funny and a great author. He has a great sense of humour and imagination. I loved his goatee and his haircut. I loved his book, rap and his poem. I hope u come back!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘Dear DC Green, Julia and I (Jade) thought you were funny, cool and bald as in you have no hair, but that's what makes you funny. So keep on writing and we will keep on reading.’


Here's four from Year Seven at Shoalhaven High, provided by Ann Johnston, the teacher librarian:

‘DC's visit was very enjoyable because of his interesting stories of how he became a writer, what his life was like was before he started writing books, and how he comes up with his ideas for his book. I liked the way he read to us some of his short and funny stories - really entertaining. Interesting to hear how he is selling his books as well as through shops. I liked his easygoing humorous personality.’

‘I liked the way DC shared his thoughts with us about his writing, his life including mishaps such as the surfboard incident when he nearly drowned because it kept hitting him on his head - we all laughed. It's interesting to actually listen to and talk to a real live author.’

‘Perhaps DC is becoming more popular as an author because he seems to actually have a personality not just a person who sits and writes a lot.’

‘I went to hear this author and thought he might be a bit dull, but in fact he had an entertaining personality - I'll even read his book, so that's a surprise for me.’


Berkeley Primary School reviews:

‘We liked... that he was funny and talented; that he read part of his book and funny poems; hearing about Kelly Slater and his surfing stories because they were interesting; his singing and dancing; that he answered our questions; his crazy expressions and accents; his rap song; his good imagination; his artistic way of acting; his writing ideas, his retelling of real life experiences; his different voices; that he was crazy and cool; that we learnt a valuable lesson that no matter how long it takes to write a story, the end result is very worthwhile. Thanxalot.’
- Karen Ruzzene and 4VR.

Students from 5A:

‘Hi. I want to thank you for coming to our school. You were really funny and hairlous. I also liked your poems. Bye.’ - Sara.

‘DC was heaps mad. I reckon the funniest bit was when he tried to rap.’ - Mitch.

‘DC Green, I really liked your speech. I can't wait to read your book. I reckon you would make a great father. Thank you for coming to our school. You are really funny.’ - Rebekah.

‘DC Green, I really liked your performance, the introduction and the part where you and Josh read.’ - Natasha.

‘DC Green, I liked your poems that you read out. You put a lot of rhyming words which sounded really good.’ - Stephanie.

‘DC Green is a very funny man.’ - Tony.


‘I think everyone enjoyed the day and liked listening to other people's ideas and stories.’ - Sarah, Year Eight, Holy Spirit College.

‘The visit taught us all something new and I'm sure we will all apply these new skills we have been taught somewhere in the near future.’ - Zac, Year Eight, Holy Spirit College.


Reviews from Albury West Public School, Years Two and Three:

‘Hey DC Green. Your act was awesome.’ - Sebastiano.

‘Your show was great. I liked the three little pigs story and the one we made up.’ - James.

‘Your act was fantastic, you should be an actor on TV.’ - Tanisha.

‘When you came it was cool. PS you need to work on your rap.’ - Josh.

‘Hello DC, your talk was very interesting. I love the book that you wrote. It was very funny. Oh and when you came I liked your shirt.’ - Lisa.

‘Yoh! DC I think you are a cool man and very funny. I like the names of your cats.’ - Reuby.

‘Yo yo DC you did a very cool rap dude. When I see you next I think you're going to do an even better rap.’ - Alex.

‘Yoh!!! DC I like your story, it's great. I've been using my imagination on the weekend. You look really cool and funny.’ - Emma.

‘Hey DC, I really enjoyed your show. I enjoyed your book.’ - Macauley.

‘Hey DC Green, your act was great. How did you get your book so good?’ - Isaac.

‘Yoh!!! DC I love your stories. You are nice and funny.’ - Samuel.

‘I liked the show of DC Green. It was good, it was very funny. It was a funny show when you did that dance. I liked the duck story. That was very funny.’ - Douglas.

‘I thought that your show was so funny and extraordinary. Thank you for your talent.’ - Alhanna.

‘Yo yo DC, it was cool of you to come to my school. You are cool. PS cool book you wrote.’ - Josh.

‘I thought that I would not like the shows but I enjoyed it so very much. You are nice. I want your book so much because it is good.’ - Elyse.

‘DC, I like your book very much because it is wacky and funny. PS I hope you make lots more books.’ - Milla.


Reviews from Mater Dei Catholic Primary School (Wagga Wagga), Year 2:

‘The best thing I liked about DC Green was his rap because it was hilarious.’ - Ashleigh.

‘The best thing I liked about DC Green was he was very funny. DC Green was fantastic because he acted out parts of his story. He was COOL!’ - Jackson.

‘The best thing I liked about DC is that he did very funny dances and told great stories.’ - Tim.

‘The best thing I liked about DC Green was he was funny and confident.’ - Brendan.

‘I think DC used his imagination. I think DC Green's imagination is now a lot bigger than a pea.’ - Kate.


Student reviews in the Bothwell District School (Tasmania) Weekly Newsletter:

‘DC Green was VERY funny. Even the teachers laughed. He told us made up stories and he was asked some very funny questions.’ - Kimberley.

‘I liked DC Green because his funny rap was cool. I liked his voice. I want to read his new book. I wonder if he can come back because I like his jokes and I didn't get to ask him a question. My question is where is he from.’ - Harley.

‘I liked DC Green because he has funny jokes and is good with children.’ - Zak.

‘I thought it was very funny.’ - Josh.

‘DC Green was very funny and nice. His performance was funny.’ - Sophie.

‘He was very funny. I liked his song at the start. I also liked him when he made up some stories.’ - Will.

‘I liked the part where DC rapped and told some stuff about himself.’ - Brock.

‘I liked DC because he was funny and he is a good author.’ - Amanda.

‘I thought he was funny and he was a bit of a show off. But he is funny. - Tiffany.

‘I really enjoyed the DC Green visit. He is very eccentric and his songs are just plain crazy.’ Maddy.

‘DC Green came up to our school and made writing stories really fun and enjoyable. He made us come up with some ideas. It was very good and exciting to meet a book author. I had fun. He was really funny when he did some dance moves and everyone was laughing at him. I hope he can come up to our school and do it all over again.’ - Kate.

‘Today a really funny book author came to our school to tell us about his new book Erasmus James & the Zap Machine. His name was DC Green. Some people in the school guessed what DC stood for and won posters. He did a little song at the start and a rap at the end. I liked the rap because it was funny.’ - Annabelle.


Student reviews from the Corrimal East Public School Newsletter:

‘DC Green told a lot of jokes. He was very funny. He read us a story. He used to be a surfer. He did a dance. He likes to write stories. At the end he asked us some questions. We really enjoyed his visit.’ - 1M.

‘This show was one of the best author shows I've been to. It was funny and interesting throughout the show.’ - Jamie, Yr. 6.

‘He did funny impressions, rap songs, poems and read a chapter of his book and told funny stories.’ - Amy, Yr. 6

‘After DC Green sang a song, we talked about the book and Rowan pretended to be the Galactic Zapp Machine King with DC Green. It was funny!’ - Tess, Yr. 6.


Former Surfing Journalist Captures The Imagination Of Stellar Students

By Maddy, Queanbeyan High School.

‘DC Green lives on the south coast of NSW and is a happy-go-lucky guy who travels to schools in NSW to give interesting talks on writing novels and magazine articles.

‘As part of International Writers' Celebration, DC Green was invited to give a talk to Queanbeyan High School students. He spent an hour with the Year 7 and 8 Stellar classes and shared some poems and chapters from his book. He made things interesting with jokes and crazy raps.

‘His book, Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine, is a funny story including smelly ninja horses, mutant chicken lamps and a crazy king. D.C Green has managed to create a story that will have you laughing and amazed with word play. An interesting book packed with fun!

‘As a result of his visit students were inspired to use their imaginations and expand their vocabularies. We thank DC Green for his time and encouragement.’


And finally, some book reviews...

'Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine' is amusing and takes you on a whirlwind adventure of imagination. The reader is compelled to find out what will happen next. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys a fun read.’
Review by Chloe, 11, Canberra, Australia.

‘I love this book. It’s funny. It’s adventurous. It’s it’s it’s brilliant!’
- Beth S, 12 years old.

‘Don't miss this funniest adventure story of all time. My 14 year old son couldn't put DC Green's work down. He was lost as soon as he read the first paragraph. All I heard was peals of laughter interspersed with ‘Yeuch!’, ‘Gross’ and other teenage expressions of appreciation. Check it out.’ - Maria Doherty.

‘Amazing story. Looking forward to see what’s gonna happen in Uponia.’ - Fábio.

‘It's like Harry Potter, but with way funnier jokes.’
- Hayley T, 11 years old.

‘This chapter is tops and so is your whole book... Lots of laughs. Best of all are the surprises at the end. Blew my mind!! Hurry up with your next book!!! Exclamation marks!!!!’ - Jamie.

‘I love your book. It’s so funny and exciting. Every time I read it I can never put it down until I’ve finished it. I can't wait to read all your books to come.’ - Anon.

‘This hilarious book is amazingly creative!’
- Review from a Thirroul Public School student in the Illawarra Mercury.

Read more!

The Stinky Squad Video!

The Stinky Squad Video!

The Stinky Squad advertisement, as seen on Nickelodeon...

Read more!

WIN 10 YEARS of FREE Barrel Books!

WIN 10 YEARS of FREE Barrel Books!

* All signed by the author & illustrator!

* Books will include EVERY DC Green book published in the next ten years!!

* All mailed to your door, hot off the presses!!

* Plus great runner-up prizes every month: posters, signed books and original signed Stinky Squad artwork!

How to WIN

Step 1.Write a review of Stinky Squad (or any other Barrels Book).
You could talk about the story, characters, who you'd recommend the book to, what you liked best or what you disliked.

Step 2. Get the review published.
Mail or e-mail your review to: your local newspaper; your school newsletter or magazine; online book review sites (there are dozens of these – just do a search), or even in the Barrel Books Shop review section. You might even get paid for your review or win a prize!

Step 3. Send us proof you've succeeded.
Send a photocopy or original of your published review to:
Barrel Books
PO Box 427
Ulladulla NSW 2539
Oztrailer… wait, I mean, Australia.

If the review is published online, simply mail the review URL (website address) to Barrel Books or post it on the 'Win Prizes' page at www.barrelbooks.com

What are you waiting for?
Get writing and WIN! ALL entrants will become Elite Members of the Stinky Squad Fan Club!! The first monthly prize will be a free author-signed Barrel Books book of your choice!
The more reviews you have published, the more chances you have to win!
If writing is too hard, you can still win other great prizes - like signed Stinky Squad posters. Just send us your contact details (or post them here) and we'll sign you up in the Stinky Squad Fan Club! It's FREE!

Read more!

An INDEX! And... RSS!!

An INDEX! And... RSS!!

This blog keeps swelling like a mutant chook with constipation.

So here's an Index to make things easier!

First up, the big news is this site now has RSS! Every day new articles will appear for children plus new jokes, writing tips, children's book news, weird facts and words of the day. Even when I'm on holiday! That means over 50 great new reasons to visit this site every day!


Left hand column

First up: school shows! There are reviews from teachers and students about my funny and weirdly informative shows and info about where I'm touring next, including 2007.

Next, a bunch of reviews, followed by a photo of nine basket-case kittens and another review by the esteemed Dianne Bates, before we move on to some teacher notes and more reviews of Erasmus James & the Galactic Zapp Machine, rip into four chapters for the main course, then finish off with a dessert of some sick surfing sites and WebRing... thingies!

* DC Green's Top Ten FAQs! All the questions you ever wanted to ask DC Green. Possibly.
* Teacher notes for Erasmus James & the Galactic Zapp Machine (or as we call the book around here, EJ&tGZM).
* An Absolute Corker! EJ&tGZM review by Australia's Surfing Life magazine.
* A World of Wonder. Another glowing book review, this one by legend children's author, Bill Condon.
* Bonus mini reviews. A dozen or so extra shiny, happy critters.
* EJ&tGZM front cover!
* The Big One! The first four chapters of EJ&tGZM. Enjoy!
* World Surf Media Guide, including a photo of DC Green (that's me!) surfing something other than the web...
* Wonderful WebRings. Nothing but the coolest Rings on the Web.


Right hand column

* DC Green mugshot & profile... stuff.
* Bookmark Australia. The best site to order a copy of EJ&tGZM.
* Links. There's a ton of these and I rotate them around regularly, but they are all well worth checking out. Here you'll find great children's and adult authors, top artists and illustrators, ripper writing sites, things to do, recommended blogs, some DC-related articles and more than a cyborg chook can pole vault!

Read more!

Rave Raz Reviews!

Rave Raz Reviews!

Here's a few ripper reviews for 'Erasmus James & the Galactic ZAPP Machine'...

"DC Green is a sharper, swarthier JK Rowling."
- Derek Rielly, Stab Magazine.

"It's like Harry Potter, but with way funnier jokes!"
- Hayley T, 11 years old.

"DC Green is such a great writer. Oh, I wish I was 14 again! It's like a breath of fresh air to read this whimsical stuff."
- Carol Roach, author & Storytime Tapestry editor.

"This fabulous, fun-filled fable is so good, I was laughing out loud. DC Green's brilliant talent shines through at every turn of this tale. I'm still chuckling at some of the lines."
- Jodi Flesberg Lilly, Ryze Creative Writers Network moderator. www.lightinmotion.net

"Erasmus James & the Galactic Zapp Machine has an exciting plot (complete with timely message) with many an unexpected twist. The language is a mirror to ‘kid-culture,’ and the clever use of word and pun will captivate readers of all ages."
- Jensen Ruehle, Bookmark Australia.

"This is great reading! I laugh out loud every time! And, I never know when the next guffaw will come roaring up!"
- David Moorhead, journalist, web designer, life coach. davidmoorhead.com

"This is a great read for the groms floating around puberty."
- Tracks magazine.

"Erasmus is certainly unique, has heaps of kid appeal and a message or two hidden amongst all the zaniness to boot!"
- Sue Whiting, www.suewhiting.com

"Erasmus James is an awesome read, an absolute corker!"
- Tim Fischer, Australia's Surfing Life magazine.

"I love reading about Erasmus. He has the kind of adventures I had in my head as a kid before the grown up disease got me."
- Maria Stepek Doherty, Storytime Tapestry senior writer. www.chrysalistransformations.com

"DC Green’s use of alliteration is brilliant and his play on words sends me into fits! His imagination is so vivid and deep and so appealing to children... Beneath all this intelligent hilarity is an underlying message about life questions, like facing one's demons/fears and hates as Erasmus does throughout his journey into Uponia."
- Moira Elliott, Pass It On.

"I love this book. It’s funny. It’s adventurous. It’s it’s it’s brilliant!"
- Beth S, 12 years old.

"WOW! I am the Gran of five boys and nine girls aged 18 months to 17.5 years, and I love this book!"
- Judith Bamford, The Buzzing Bees Ezine.

"This story is highly original, humorous, fantastical and will no doubt (in my mind at least) have DC Green being called 'the new Paul Jennings.' I was hooting all the time with laughter."
- Di Bates, author of over 90 books for children. home.pacific.net.au/~dibates

"Thanks heaps for letting me read the book to my class. I read a chapter or so each day and they really enjoyed it, especially the jokes and the naughty bits!"
- Bob Swoope, teacher, Milton Public School.

" Thank you DC Green! The imagery you create is wonderful. I love the dialogue and the way you play with words is awesome."
- Shirley Soodeen, author. pinksooshi.blogspot.com

"Funny funny funny... After a long time, an intergalactic laugh out loud adventure."
- Arjun Chandramohan Bali, screenwriter. balihai.blogspot.com

"DC Green must have a blast writing. It shows. What a fantastic escape from humdrum!"
- Steve Trotter, The National Truth. www.SteveTrotter.com

"Amazingly creative."
- The Illawarra Mercury.

"It is a great shame that I am not a nine-year-old boy. Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine is weird and warped, including everything from pumpkin-pie eating ninja horses to giant texta wielding birds. It is full of whimsy and cunning... a roller-coaster ride."
- Gillian Polack, As If Reviews.

"DC Green has a gift for crazy gung ho plots and even quirkier frenzied descriptions. But the big reason this book is so wonderful is because it's too funny for words!"
- Sandy Fussell, author.

"I normally wouldn't like something with so much farting in it, but I love-love-loved this book. It's kind of Hitch-hikers Guide crossed with Narnia crossed with Black Beauty and the Goodies. I laughed, I cried, I worried about the author's mental health... Much like that muddy pothole on my grandparents' driveway, Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine is a lot deeper than it looks."
- Emma Hardman, 2006 ABC Fiction Award runner-up.

"A world of wonder, surprise and great fun awaits readers of Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine. DC Green has created a joyous comic funfare ride of a book... A brilliant debut novel from a clever and inventive writer. Kids will love this one."
- Bill Condon, CBCA Honor Book of the Year winner.

"An action-packed, humorous adventure which will appeal to upper-primary aged readers. There are plenty of laugh out loud moments, interspersed with action and some gentle messages about family, friendship and even self-belief. Plenty of fun."
- Sally Murphy, Aussie Reviews.

"A rollicking, fart-filled yarn."
- Surfer magazine (USA).

"DC Green is the new Roald Dahl."
- DC Green.

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Erasmus James: The Cover!

Erasmus James: The Cover!

OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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BOOK REVIEW: The New Roald Dahl? By Dianne Bates***

BOOK REVIEW: The New Roald Dahl? By Dianne Bates***

The back cover blurb of Erasmus James and the Galactic Zapp Machine proclaims its author DC Green "**the new Roald Dahl". I agree. This is not to say that this new Australian children's author writes in any way like Dahl, but the originality, vigour and humour of his storytelling and his refreshingly idiosyncratic use of language marks him as One to Watch Out For.
A legendary international surfing journalist from southern NSW, Green impressed Ibis Publishing executives so much with his writing that they signed him up for a three book series, a feat almost unheard for a first-time children's author in today's Australia. (New writers take note!)

So, what is it that makes the first Erasmus James' book such a stand-out? For a start, Green breaks all the rules, not just in aspects such as characterisation and use of language, but in punctuation. When did you ever read a book where an exclamation mark is extended to a series of four? Where three brackets are used instead of one? At first I found this lack of convention irritating, but as I became swept up into the strongly paced, side-splitting humour of the book with its underlying whacks at twenty-first century conventions, I forgot all of my school-marm, judgemental reservations.

Erasmus James, son of an inventor who meddles with dad's latest – a machine which doesn't just move into time, but into Uponia (a whole new, fantastical dimension) - is a sassy-mouthed boy who wants to get home. Having met King Reginald the Seventy-seventh, Ruler of Uponia from the foothills of the Bloodhorse Mountains (etc, etc, etc, etc), Erasmus (Raz for short), fast-talks his way into surviving by negotiating to sell King Reg a prototype for a kar. He does this by a modern means, presenting the tyrannical, murderous Reg with a Lameboy, which, like all Gameboys deadens Reggie's brain and natural inclinations. The King even condescends to repair Raz's galactic zapp machine while he sends the boy along the Trans-Uponian Highway to see the Great Wonder of Uponia.

A talking (and wind-breaking) ninja horse by the name of Franklin is Raz's mode of transport in a strange land frequented by mutant poultry, which, early in the piece, have Erasmus thinking, "Didn't those bird-brains know you can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs? (I wonder if that's original?) Which brings me to the other seven things I thought of: crunchy spuds with roast chicken, satay chicken, chicken wings with a selection of yummy dips, apricot children, Bayfried Chicken (BFC), chicken burgers smothered in apple sauce, and, of course, Vietnamese chicken omlette."

My reading of Erasmus James and the Intergalactic Zapp Machine often had me in fits in laughter, reinforcing the book's back blurb warning, "so funny, you could break ribs or explode internal organs from laughing so hard". What the blurb doesn't mention is that if you read the book while in the company of others, you might annoy them greatly by reading aloud long chunks of side-splitting sections, which is what I did time and again.

My appreciation of this new author's first book is not totally without reservation. At times (especially in the introductory chapter), I found Erasmus' asides broke the story flow and that sometimes Green's over-statements (such as references to the farting horse and Vietnamese food) were annoying. Some adults might find the near-end scene of death highly offensive. But these are small quibbles in a book which plays around irreverently with all aspects of language.

Underlying all of the book's hilarity is a message about life, about heroically facing one's fears and conquering them in a world (such as today's) where mad-men bent on world domination and destruction hold sway, but where lesser mortals can in the end, with humour, co-operation and persistence and by overcoming prejudices, triumph. Watch out for DC Green!


**(((By the way, it was DC HimSelf who compared HimSelf with the late and great Dahl!!!)))


*** Dianne Bates is the author of over 90 books for children, including Money Smart Kids and Grandma Cadbury's Trucking Tales. http://home.pacific.net.au/~dibates/

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Kitten-a-rama

Kitten-a-rama

Okay, this has nothing to do with mutant chooks, but aren't these nine kittens super cute?

Their names are Jet, Storm, Inky, Zeus, Gandalf Freddy, Rusty, Buffy, Ninja and Frankie Junior. Their mums (Roxy and Roxy's daughter, Angel) gave birth to them on the same day!! Our house is now even more of a crazy house!

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DC Green's Top Ten FAQs!

DC Green's Top Ten FAQs!

I get stoked whenever I receive e-mail, letters or even blackmail notes from readers. It's especially fantastic when fans tell me they love my books!!

What I mostly get asked are FAQs = Frequently Asked Questions. Here are the best of those questions, along with the worst of my answers!


Question 1: What does the 'DC' in 'DC Green' stand for?

Answer: My daughter reckons, 'Dangerous Chef'...


Question 2: When did you start writing?

Answer: I've always loved writing. By the time I was ready to be born I'd completed my first three books. I would have written more, but I wasted most of the time looking around for somewhere to plug in my laptop. When the doctor smacked me on the backside, I squinted at him and went, 'Waaah!' Which of course meant, 'Ah, you must be my agent!'
Okay, I'll try and be a little more serious ;-)...


Question 3: What was your job before you wrote Erasmus James & the Galactic Zapp Machine?

Answer: Before I became a children's author, I worked as a surf journalist. That dream job combined my love of surfing, writing and travelling. I had thousands of articles and stories published in about 30 countries, travelled the world, met every world surfing champion, won a few awards (for my writing, not for my surfing)... and lost part of my bum cheek on a tropical reef.


Question 4: Where did you get the great ideas for EJ&tGZM?

Answer: My daughter and stepson wanted a story with lots of jokes, ninja horses, mutant chooks, space travel, a cracking story-line and some good scares. I mashed these elements up in my brain blender and read the results to a lot of kids. Whenever they wandered off to the nearest Playstation, I threw that section out. Whenever the kids rolled around laughing on the floor and begged for another chapter, I knew I was on the right track.


Question 5: Will you please visit my school?

Answer: I love doing school visits and have worked out an interactive show that is filled with laughter and surprises. Just get your teacher or librarian to contact me, and I'll do my best to visit your school on my next book tour!
If your country doesn't have my books, send letters to your leaders!


Question 6: Where do you live?

Answer: I grew up in a small town on the South Coast of NSW in Australia called Ulladulla. Though the town isn't so small anymore, I still live there, along with one slightly crazy daughter, three very crazy cats and a blue-tongue lizard.


Question 7: What's your best writing tip?

Answer: Read a lot and write every day, even if just a few words. Imagination can be the best fun park in the universe!


Question 8: What are your plans for the future?

Answer: I plan to write a lot more children's books and become a billionaire author like JK Rowling (ha ha). Unlike her, I will donate 90 % of my profits to charity. I'd also like to still be surfing at age 109, hopefully on a tropical zapp planet with sponge-lined reefs!


Question 9: Why did you become a children's author?

Answer: I read the famous Harry Potter books and discovered they all told the same story, were predictable, flabby in parts and lacked any rip-snorting jokes, especially of the fart variety. I figured I could do a better job and so began work on 'Erasmus James & the Galactic Zapp Machine.' What fun it is to create worlds and characters! Now I'm hooked and will be a children's author till the day I do my final fart!!


Question 10: How can I contact you?

Answer: You can send me an e-mail from my profile page or leave a comment after any article. You can also send me smoke signals, but the only reply I know how to make is, "Help! My kitchen is on fire!!"


Bonus Question: What's your next project?

Answer: Can you keep a secret? The book I'm working on now (my best ever) is called... Stinky Squad! Did somebody say zombies and gross superpowers?
And the next two Erasmus James books have even more laughs, adventure, new zapp worlds and revelations!


Until next time.

Happy writing, reading and laughing,


DC Green

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